unsure...

The title says a lot really...

Since Sandy's father's murder, rumor around town is that she moved in with Ori for a while.. I can't help but hate her for that, but I know he always loved her. So I really tried to back away. I kept my distance... still.. I keep seeing the look in his eyes after I kissed him good bye that day... Such shock and confusion... and that sweet litle blushing thing Ori does...

Wait...

Is this really the same Ori that hated me in school? I don't recall him ever really being quite so bashful back then.... Still...

Dorian sent me to Ori's office to get Serena's records. I have been surprised, but no one ever asks about her last name anymore. Maybe they know and just aren't saying anything, I don't know... I guess I expcted Ori to say something at least... But thankfully he hasn't. I wouldn't know where to begin to explain.

I was about to leave when he invited me to join him on his lunch break. I don't know why, but I figured why not. So I went with him. He really doesn't say too much.. and I really had no idea what to say. I was afraid I would say something wrong and make him angry or something... I also noticed he doesn't eat... I tried to get him to... but it didn't work very well.

At one point he told me he had to do some thinking...

I wonder just what he is thinking.... Especially if Sandy really is staying with him. He really shouldn't be seen with me... *sighs*

And once again I have done what I shouldn't have and set myself up for a fall...

if only I knew what to think.... If only I knew what he thought...

My dreams have been empty.

I long for the dreams in which I shared the beach with either him or Orifiel again... Sometimes just for the company...

_______________________

Sidelines:

Orifiel has distanced himself from me...

I am left wondering what I've done wrong. I accepted Xavier and do what I can as a mother, but I feel like it isn't enough. Maybe he worries because RIJ isn't really around as he used to be. But Orifiel has to know that he isn't raising Xavier alone. Xavier seems to really like me. I don't mind taking him as if my own son. It's not so bad. What's hurtful is that Xavier is a bit more affectionate that Orifiel has been...

He's quieter than usual and it worries me... I thought we would finally be happy. I know I was...

Orifiel.. please talk to me... I miss the passion and fire you and I had... It's still there somewhere... I know it is... Please Orifiel.. don' give up before we've really had a chance to get started... I love you so much....

posted by Lady Aurora Phoenix @ 7:26 AM Comments: 0